Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Oh my dears the drama...

Don't these earrings just look magical? As if you could put them on and the whole world would just glow a little brighter? Today my dears, I need some magic earrings.

W's grad school applications were due this week, and we've both been up late the last couple of nights discussing the various elements of his personal statement. So I started today exhausted. Now, normally W is a very sweet guy. For example, after I gruffly announced my grumpiness from the Chinatown bus on Friday, he picked me up at the station in a borrowed car. And he brought chocolate. Sounds perfect, right? Of course not, no one is, and today he threw in a game changer. A self-destructive, selfish, destroying all the scenarios we've discussed for the last six months game changer. And now I'm struggling.

So here are some of my questions- how do you know when it's too much? I believe that serious relationships are half love/personality and half business partnerships. If you are going to be legally and financially entangled with someone, they have to be a good partner. And this is where W is lacking- in the planning and executing a life together department. Am I putting too much emphasis on this part of a relationship? Is it enough that he acknowledges the problem and promises to try harder? Can I really ask for much more than that? W is someone who has to learn all his lessons the hard way, but we're both in our thirties, and I expect these lessons have come along before. Are my standards too high?

Any stores or advice from those of you have been in similar situations?
Can love in the end trump all else, or is that just the romantic in me looking for a reason to stick around? I'm exhausted and confused, help!


  1. Um. So much to discuss.

    A. YOU NEED TO TELL THE GAMECHANGER! What is the other option he is proposing? Is it something that would just keep things the way they are now? Because that seems draining and unsatisfying.
    Why would he suddenly throw in an alternative situation? Had he been thinking about it all along and never told you.

    I had a similar situation with Matt. Dated for 5 months, were going to break up because he was graduating. He convinced me to stay with him long distance because eventually we would be together, when I transfered schools. I get into NYU. He says he wants to take a job in Boston. I say fuck you, you've been playing all along and knew you would never move here!

    I date Justin now.

    I need to know the gamechanger. This is huge.

  2. Relationships are never 50/50.

    One is always putting more effort than another regarding any aspects of a relationship. The question is: what do you want from each other?

    Have you ever met tomorrow? Focusing on the future may be a bigger battle than you've anticipated when you have another human thinker involved. I wish you the best of luck Cynth.